Parshat Shemini: Keeping It Real

This parshat has three parts, all of which have one lesson: Keep It Real!


Parshat Shemini Video!

Aaron's sons approach the sacrificial alter and G_d kills them. Doesn't seem fair. We find out it's because Aaron's sons were drunk at the time. G_d was pissed off because they approached the holy while Under The Influence. They couldn't really appreciate what they were doing. Same thing with drunk driving: you don't really know what you are doing when you're smashed behind the wheel of a car. Moral of the story: G_d wants you to keep it real, for your own safety.

Toward the middle of the parshat, Aaron and Moses get into a debate about the semantics of ritual and mourning. Jews do this all the time: arguing over mundane, little things. I get this a lot as a blogger...there's always someone who thinks I'm too liberal, too conservative...or this one time, an evangelical Christian pretending to be a Jew. Now That's Jewish paranoia! Ultimately Aaron wins, which is funny because Moses has G_d on speed dial. Moses should be like that guy who won Jeopardy a million times in a row. But he wasn't. He was wrong. And he kept it real. Moral of the story: G_d wants you to keep it real, because you're not always right.

The last part of the parshat is the holy menu of animals that are good or bad to eat. No one knows why G_d wants you to eat Pastrami but stay the hell away from a ham sandwich...but I think it has to do with, you guessed it, keeping it real.

Ancient cultures believed that when you ate something, you absorbed its essence. So in kosher, animals that have negative traits (eating other animals, scavenging, eating crud off the bottom of the ocean) shouldn't be consumed. We have to keep it real by eating things that represent the way that we strive to be.

It makes sense, because Jews have redefined Kosher in the modern era, adding free range, vegetarian and organic option to the diet. We like environmental protection and cruelty free products because they help us to commune with a higher purpose. We realize that the crap we put into our bodies effects Creation...the Creation that G_d demand's we be stewards of. G_d wants you to keep it real, by making the food you put into your body as real as possible, too.

So whether it's rethinking that last beer before you get into a car, admitting defeat when you're fighting with someone, or even just picking a better lunch, G_d wants you to...you guessed it...keep it real...for your own sake...and his...or hers...whichever you prefer.

Parshat Shemini Video!

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